Tis the Season

Well, the fall tv season is in full swing now.

I'll definitely be watching every week: Gossip Girl, Privileged, Dirty Sexy Money, Friday Night Lights

Will keep tuned into: True Blood, Fringe, Pushing Dasies, 30 Rock, Top Design

At least, that's the line-up for now. We'll see how the season goes.

And yes, to respond to a comment Laura made, I'm interested in watching "Tabatha's Salon Take-Over" because Tabatha Coffey is awesome. She's smart and talented and a seriously entertaining bitch on wheels. And us Tabatha's stick together. I just haven't gotten around to it yet, but I can imagine watching a bunch in a row on a slow Sunday afternoon or something.

I want to talk about how Gossip Girl is crazy-mad-fucking-awesome this year. (Evil Serena! Impending cat-fight of terror! Woo!) And about how Privileged is fluffy adorable fun. And how Fringe is kind of boring me but I'm really hoping it starts to explode all over the place oncethe building blocks are establshed. And lastly, how Top Design is seriously entertaining this time around. But, I also want to watch the Dirty Sexy Money premiere, clean up my i-pod for tomorrow's Ithaca-bound road trip, pack my red duffel, put my laundry away, and go to sleep within two hours... so no more blogging tonight. Probably.

Song Of The Day

A new feature for the blog: song of the day.

The song of the day usually being something that played on my i-pod that just struck me.

The inaugural song of the day is an old Springsteen ditty.

"Badlands"



Like most Springsteen songs (and really, most songs in general), I have no real idea what it's about. However, I still love the way it sounds.

My favorite passage is easily:

"Workin in the fields till you get your back burned
Workin `neath the wheels till you get your facts learned
Baby I got my facts learned real good right now"

Massive Book Review Round-Up

My goal this year was to read 75 books. I really wanted to hit 100 but I think that was just too lofty a goal. I got really bad about keeping track in the middle, though, so here's a rough guess at where the count is at. I'm definitely missing a few, but hell if I can remember what they are.

Also, my well's running dry so if you have any recommendations, please feel free to comment. I need some fresh ideas.

43. Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett
44. Just One Of The Guys by Kristan Higgins
45. Wife In The North
46. Cruel Summer
47. Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks
48. Northern Lights by Nora Roberts
49. Born in Ice by Nora Roberts
50. California Demon by Julie Kenner
51. The Grand Sophy by Georgette Heyer
52. The Boy Next Door by Meg Cabot
53. Boy Meets Girl by Meg Cabot
54. Every Boy's Got One by Meg Cabot
55. Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde
56. Babysitter's Club: Kristy's Big Idea

And I've currently got the fourth Thursday Next book ("Something Rotten") and Heyer's "Frederica" jockeying for my next read.


One (or Two) Sentence Reviews:

43. I had forgotten how much fun The Watch series really was. And boy was I glad to finally read a Pratchett I could follow again (the Death books are all twisty and stuff).
44. This book made me cry at points and I didn't like it as much as previous ones.
45. Blog turned memoir that I really found myself getting into. I really loved the ridiculous number of times she ran out of gas and cursed her husband.
46. Diary-framed YA novel that was a bit derivative but sweet nonetheless. Nobody does YA diaries like Meg Cabot, though.
47. Interesting YA with a strong, unique, feminist heroine. Alpha's drunken letter at the end was easily my favorite part.
48. Engaging read about a man finding a fresh start on life as a Sheriff in Alaska.
49. Very popular old-school Nora Roberts romance novel. Not bad, but I like my heroines feistier and my male leads less douche-y.
50. Very fluffy, not much substance. Good books to read in the tub, but not worth much more effort.
51. So Damn Awesome. Sophy totally rocks.
52. Fluffy chick lit written all in e-mails and the like. The first, and best of the series.
53. Retread of the first in the series. The leads in this were less like-able.
54. Really horrible. Didn't like it at all.
55. Finally completed after borrowing from the library at least 5 times. No evil time-traveling Frenchman though... so, damn!
56. Ridiculously cute. Love the artwork in this graphic novel re-working.

The horror!

Now, crap-tastic music is always playing in the store. "Mambo #5" was playing when I was in the bathroom the other day. And I had to listen to "beating down the walls of heartache, bang bang, I am the warrior" every damn day for four months.

But the other day, it reached a new low. So low, in fact, that I was certain my ears were going to spontaneously bleed from the torture.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wJ-VPqFzy0

Yeah...

Now, it's well known that I'm not a fan of John Mayer. Elliott once asked me why I didn't like him but then answered the question himself with "Ah, the misogyny, right? Yeah, I see that." Force me to listen to even a few seconds of "Daughters" and I'm ready to punch holes through walls out of anger.

But that?! Ugh. Whole new level of awful.

Just watch the cheesy 80's Tom Petty music video. You'll feel cleaner, I promise.

Hysterical Ammounts of Racism

Alec Baldwin is absolutely hysterical on 30 Rock.

For those who haven't watched the show previously (I'm assuming anyone reading this), the only set-up you need is that Jack (Alec Baldwin) is an NBC executive, Tracy Morgan is the bat-shit crazy star of a popular sketch comedy show, and Jack's dragged him down to therapy because he's been acting out and doing whatever Jack tells him not to (all "you're not my father!").

The poor therapist has to sit through the following in sheer horror:

"Mind your own damn business, Mrs. Rodriguez!"

"Lady, just because I'm an ignorant black man and you paid me a nickle to bust up your shifarobe doesn't give you the right to call me ridiculous just because I'm proud of my son."

Butt-Fugging-Ugly

Ok, a quick word in about Project Runway. I haven't even watched the past week's episode yet, but I've seen photos.

Everyone keeps saying that the designers this season seriously suck. They're not wrong. There's pretty much only three or four of them with any talent at all.

Evidence:



Yeah, this was not the loser last week. In fact, it wasn't even considered the second worst.

I hate Kenley so damn much. I hate her stupid damn face and her stupid damn Betty-Page hair. And everything she designs is butt-fugging-ugly. But that? Is so damn atrocious. God, I think I hate it more than Vincent's trash dress from season 3. And now I'm ashamed of myself.

Ugh.

TV Thoughts

The new tv season had begun! Wee!


So far, I rather liked the pilot of HBO's new vampire show True Blood. It's on cable, so it has the requisite oddness, persistant use of the f-word, and plenty of sex and nudity. And although I don't care much for vampires, it also has a psychic main character. And we all know how I feel about psychics (LOVE them).

Assorted Observations:

• I like Sookie. I love how she gets all stupid and googly-eyed whenever Bill the Vampire is around. And how she totally choked that evil bastard with the chain (psychically, right? the him not being able to get it off part? it was unclear, though).
• "You just shut your nasty mouth, mister. You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me you will talk to me like the that lady I am." (The southern inflection on the last three words is really what kills)
  
• I hate her best friend. I both hate the character and the wooden actress (Side note: she was in the truly awful dance movie "How She Move" and she was awful in it).
• The bar-owner guy is really attractive. I'm always a fan of that.
  

I watched half of the pilot of 90210 but just wasn't interested. Also, the girls are all dangerously skinny skeleton girls and I just can't get behind that. I like to read the TWOP recaps at work... but I doubt I'll watch any more of it.

I made my way through the first episode of this year's Prison Break for one reason and one reason only. Dr Sara's back! Eee! Oh, well, and also cause I read that T-Bag eats a guy... but I didn't even keep watching till that happened. I haven't followed this show steadily for over a year and I really don't think that's bound to change now. Unless I hear about Dr. Sara doing something awesome... I can't resist. I love her so much.

Bonus: The TWOP take on Prison Break's return. First, the list of crazy-ass shit they compiled the week before the season premiere. And then there's this summary of T-Bag's plot:

"Meanwhile, T-Bag chews a lot of desert scenery in his blood feud quest for Michael. He also chews his former traveling companion. That's right -- T-Bag ends up in the desert thanks to some untrustworthy coyotes, and after his traveling companion dies in a freak accident, T-Bag roasts and eats him. Is there some way that you haven't violated the laws of God and man, T-Bag? Are you planning necrophilia for November sweeps, or will that have to wait until May?"

I didn't really care for the Bones premiere either. I missed most of the last season, but I was caught up on the major plot points. It just felt kind of lackluster to me. And if Angela and Hodgins don't figure out their shit and get back together, I'll be seriously pissed. (Although I did like that they didn't break up because of Angela's ex but because of their own individual insecurities and issues).


Next Batch of reviews to feature Gossip Girl, Privileged, Fringe, and Top Design. Possibly to be up later today... but the dentist prescribed me Vicodin... so maybe not.

Paul Simon, Obviously

I was at work the other day when the customer I was helping started to hum and tap his fingers on the counter. This actually happens all of the time.

But then I realized he was humming along to "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon.

And I had an epiphany.

There was no Paul Simon in my life! (And by life, I mean ipod, obviously.)

Thus, here are my four favorite Paul Simon songs.

(If I could figure out how to post audio rather than YouTube videos, I would. However, these particular videos are pretty interesting. Two are actual cheesy music videos and two are live performances. The Zimbabwe dancers in #3 are particularly awesome.)

4. Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard



3. Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes



2. You Can Call Me Al



1. The Obvious Child

I've found recently that lists work for me.

So, here are things I want to write about this week:

Kristan Higgins (and her 3 excellent romance novels)
The RWA RITA awards
The Sex and the City movie (I know, well overdue)
Step Up 2 The Streets (also well overdue)
Foods I Love (I must tell you about Stella D'Oro cookies... I must)

Hopefully, writing about wanting to write about them will get me to write about them.

You understand.

Book Round-Up

It's been a while since I've got any book reviews but here are the last eight books I've read. I think. I've probably forgotten one or two.

The Romances:

Lady Be Good by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Baby Don't Go by Susan Andersen
Leaving Normal by Stef Ann Holm
An Improper Proposal by Meg Cabot

Other Genres:

Queen of Babble Gets Hitched by Meg Cabot
One For The Money by Janet Evanovich
House of Many Ways by Diana Wynne Jones
Reaper Man by Terry Pratchet

Capsule Reviews in two parts to follow in the next few days.

Oh Mama!

Fantastically odd little movie.

The thing is, so much of it is truly horrifying and terrible. And I'm sitting there going "Oh God, really, they're singing into a tampon... oh fucking God" and then five seconds later, every woman on the island is running around and joining in on "Dancing Queen" and I'm literally thinking "this is the most phenomenally awesome thing I've ever seen."

And pretty much every single scene was like that. No joke.

Need another example? How about the number where Sophie and her cheese-tastic fiance are singing on the beach and it's gross and he's a terrible singer and all of a sudden? Yeah, like 20 dudes come out of nowhere, abduct him, and they all do syncronized dancing on the pier wearing only swimming briefs and scuba fins. And I happily laughed my ass off. And no, I did not make an ounce of that up.

It was incredibly hit or miss. And the misses? Were bad. Really bad. But the hits? Dude, they were so fucking awesome.

Like I said, fantastically odd little movie.

I think I kind of loved it.

And the best bit was easily the "Winner Takes All" number. Holy shit. I'm not ashamed at all to admit to crying in the movie theatre at that one. Meryl Streep and Abba were blowing my mind.

Do you know ho many entry drafts are sitting in my blogger queue just from the last two weeks? Twelve. I've got like seventeen billion things to review.

But now I'm on my way out of the house to see Mama Mia. Dee said she'd see it with me but I have ants in my pants. Also, I spent the morning swimming with the kids so I have "Sexy Crinkly Tabatha Swim Hair" ( pretty similar to "Witchy Tabatha Rain Hair") and if there ever was a movie that needed to be seen while having "Sexy Tabatha Swim Hair," it's a fun musical set to Abba songs set on a tropical Greek island.

Ok, I promise to review something when I get back tonight.

(Hey, look! I updated the sidebar... with a to-do-list... yeah, this blog is so damn exciting.)

Dance, M@*#erF*&#er, Dance!

Well, I'm heading down to the Jersey shore for the weekend straight from work tomorrow, but before I go...

I'm leaving you with So You Think You Can Dance videos!

Eee. Yeah, I've got lots to say, but I'll wait till I get back.

For now, here's my favorite routine (not necessarily the best... just the one I've watched about 25 times in 3 days... and that's not even an exaggeration) of the current season so far:



And, as a bonus, a ridiculously awesome routine from last night's episode. And I don't even usually like Mia Michaels' choreography!

Sex and the City: Greatest Hits Montage

I've been trying to write about Sex and the City since the movie came out. Because I saw it opening night, and it was fucking awesome.

Anyway, I was having trouble. I pretty much just want to gush about my favorite parts of the movie. But then I wanted to talk about the series. And if I'm talking about the series, would that have to include recaps of each season? Each woman's individual journey? My favorite moments of the series? Yeah, I'm gonna take it in steps.

So, here's a somewhat chronological list of the episodes/moments/jokes that I recall most fondly from the series. And I'm aware that pretty much no one else reading this has seen more than a handful of episodes.

So, here we are:

• The one where Miranda is pissed/scared because Carrie's jumping back into Big territory and they have a huge fight and make up in their coffee shop. This episode also features the hilarious scene where Big and Carrie fall in the goddamn lake.

• The one where Big unconsciously pushes Carrie out of bed in his sleep (yet another example of him not making room for her in his life) and she retaliates by fucking punching him in the face.

• The one in the Hamptons where Charlotte gets crabs, Samantha gets even, Carrie manages to get her heart broken by Big yet again, and Miranda gets to hold Carrie's hair while she pukes. Understandably.

• The one where Big announces his engagement to the "Idiot Stick Figure With No Soul" and Carrie, in an awesome pink dress, wigs the fuck out in the restaurant. Again, understandably.

• The one where Carrie walks in on Samantha and the UPS guy, acts all judgmental and self-righteous, and rightfully gets called to task for it.

• Oh man. "Don't you bring that flat baby in here!" Hee.

• The "I'm an asshole!" encounter between Miranda and Steve after the second break-up.

• The one where Carrie models in a fashion show, falls on her ass, and becomes Heidi Klum's fashion roadkill.

• The opener of season 5 with all of the sailors. It features not only the "I gave you 'sushi' I need 'fuck'" line, the "park avenue, pink-shirt-wearing, flaccid pee pee mojo" line, Charlotte making both Carrie and Samantha stumble in the street by saying things out of character (like "I don't believe in true love" and "I'm gonna get laid"), the scene where Samantha plasters her cheating ex's neighborhood with pink fliers advertising his sleaziness, and last, but not least, a gag involving Carrie seeing everyone's boobs.

• Any scene with Harry. Ever. I love Harry. And his hairy back.

• "I fucked up Debbie's cupcakes!"

• The one where Samantha gets diagnosed with breast cancer and Miranda gets married. Yeah, I cried the first time I saw it and I had no experience whatsoever with breast cancer. Now, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a few years before I can watch the second half of season 6 without crying the whole way through. This is the one where Samantha gets the diagnosis and tells everyone at Miranda's wedding. And everyone cries. And it's awesome.

• The very last episode of the series. I'd say it's easily one of the best series finales ever. I can't actually think of a better one. The characters were all moving towards closure and growth and this episode finishes the story well. I always cry my way through the last five minutes or so. As soon as Charlotte says "I'm a bad wife, I ordered Chinese" I always loose it.

Recent Reads: A Style Revamp

So, my project really isn't working. The entire blog is dominated by book reviews (which is really not what I wanted). They clog up everything, I never get to them untill weeks after I've read the book in question, and sometimes there isn't much to say. Also, it's summer... and I tend to read a lot of bad porny romance novles in the summer and I just can't make myself write more than a few words about them.

So... format change it is.

Once a week (after this week... obviously), I'll talk about my reading progress a bit and list the books I've read. If they're particularly note-worthy and I've things to say, then they'll get their own "splotlight" entries. Otherwise, they'll just get noted and counted. We'll see how it progresses.

So, to get caught up. Here's how progress since my last book review:

#28: Airhead by Meg Cabot
#30: Pants On Fire by Meg Cabot
#31: Blue-Eyed Devil by Lisa Kleypas
#32: Irresitable by Susan Mallery
#33: It Happened ONe Autum by Lisa Kleypas
#34: Mad Dash by Patricia Gaffney






Airhead is Meg Cabot's latest YA novel. The basic premise is the a normal teenager suddenly switches identities with a teen super-model. I won't give away the surprise twist regarding how this happens though. Luckily, the book is quite fun and I look forward to future entries. Not princess-caliber awesome, but still plenty enjoyable.


Pants on Fire is a YA novel Meg Cabot released last year. It sounds like it's about horny teenagers but it's not. Well, the heroine really does spend a lot of the book making out with very cute boys... but she spends more of it lying through her damned teeth in a attempt to keep all of her balls in the air. But she's at heart a sweet girl, and the crash isn't nearly as terrible as she thinks it's going to be. Fun little stand-alone from Cabot, skews a little younger than I'd prefer. (Even with all of the making out and boy-lusting).


Tempting was really a quite bad romance novel. I randomly picked up Mallory's The Sassy One last summer and surprisingly enjoyed it. (Even though the heroine wasn't really what I'd call "sassy" in the slightest). But every book I've read since of hers has sucked. The writing's hollow, the characters are hollow, and the sex isn't remotely interesting. All of her books feel plastic-y and fake. I'm done. Sorry Susan Mallory, but you're just not for me.


I LOVED Blue Eyed Devil. Lisa Kleypas' latest contemporary romance novel featuring members of the rich Texan oil family. If it were a film, it would be a very glossy, non-preachy, high-class Lifetime movie about a wounded heiress moving on from an abusive marriage and finding love with a self-made millionaire oil-man who is afraid that no matter how good a man he is, it's against his nature and he'll end up hurting those around him. Yeah, I can't imagine recommending it to a single person I know, but I loved it nonetheless. When the paperback comes out and the hardback is super cheap, I'll totally add it to my collection.


Kleypas' historical romance novels are less awesome, though. In fact, I don't really like them at all. I can't say I'm much for the historical romance novel genre in general though. It Happened One Autumn was especially porny and anachronistic (I think that's the word). I breezed right through it and it left very little impression. Except it felt a lot like a poor, sexed-up imitation of a Georgette Heyer novel. And Heyer, in many ways, wrote imitation Jane Austen. So a sloppy, underdeveloped, over-sexed imitation imitation. Not truly terrible, but not really any good either.


Oh, Mad Dash. I've been reading this book since December. This is the second time I borrowed it from the library. I meant to finish it the first time... I really did. It's not the book's fault. I just wasn't in the mood. It's a quiet, funny, bittersweet yet surprisingly hopeful book about a twenty-year marriage and the two individuals in it. It was very good, just not something in my usual style or something that I'd need to read again any time soon. I liked "Flight Lessons" better, though.